The choices we make today are important. Our decisions impact us in many ways and some can continue to affect us in the future. Some decisions shouldn’t be made lightly. As light as a pin prick can feel, the substance that is injected directly into your blood is weighty. Mercury, formaldehyde, and aluminium are all elements that can cause serious harm on their own. These are just some of the ingredients used in vaccines today. Vaccines began with a powder made up of ground up scabs of the infected. This was blown up the nose in an attempt to save those who were uninfected, to help the body produce antibodies against the virus by fighting a weakened form. Technology has since evolved with multibillion-dollar corporations at the head of this research claiming success rates that are far above the actual figures. This making the side effects far outweigh the benefit of some of these treatments, that natural health may be more important in defending our immune system. Injecting these chemicals in our body should always be a choice. Our choice.
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- Bianca Janse Van Vuuren - Brief 2 - 
Hi, nice work.
I don’t really have any suggestions but your introduction does feel a lot more like a conclusion than an intro? I’m not sure how that could be fixed.
You should also include a link to evidence of “Mercury, formaldehyde, and aluminium” being still used in vaccines today and how they are harmful.
Thanks
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Hi,
Thank you for your comment. I believe from reading up on argumentative writings, in the intro there needs to be a catch so people keep reading, background, the main points and at the end is where I stand in the argument. I do see where your coming from but my conclusion will have more of a factual side to the argument rather than introducing the claims which I have done in the intro. The line that states “This making the side effects far out weigh…” maybe that is where you feel that it has turned into a conclusion so I will look into rewording and then it will hopefully feel more like a intro to you.
Thank you I will put a hyperlink in for that.
Thanks for looking into this, I appreciate your input.
Bianca
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Hi Bianca,
I think you have introduced this issue well as you have stated the substances that are in some of the medication that is injected into our bodies with out us knowing. But as we need to link this to where we found such information, you could add a hyperlink there is show such research/article as evidence and not just from word of the mouth.
Other than that, I think your argument is something I agree with. We should be able to choose what we want to put into our bodies as well as what is really in those vaccines before be put them into our bodies.
Look forward to reading the rest of your argument!
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Hi Kanita,
Thank you so much for your input. I have decided to take specifics out of my introduction for my final argument and add them to the body instead where they will be hyperlinked. Thanks for your great suggestions. Thanks Kanita, yes making an educated decision and having an opinion is key. In the end decisions are subjective and another persons opinion shouldn’t be forced onto anyone.
Bianca
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